You ever think about how much you have changed in a couple of years? How far you have come from where you started off? It could be the simple things. People always say that the simple things in life are the ones that matter. And again, it could be something major. It all depends on you, actually. How you look at every individual thing that defines you - if you classify it as something tiny and insignificant or something that is big enough to alter your lifestyle. It hardly matters if you have been anticipating the change or if you had your mindset ready for it. It would most probably just hit you in the face on a random Wednesday afternoon. Change is inevitable. When, why and how is a different issue though.
I get all that. I do. Really. The part of change that I don't get is the part where my feelings are concerned. I know the phrase "Feelings are the most complicated thing on this planet" to which I agree completely but how is it that I am okay with change? I am actually having a hard time putting all the jumbled up thoughts that have been spinning around my mind into words but I think the bottom line is, you feel okay about changing when you are ready to. You may never know when you are ready. Until you are ready. Did that make sense?
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I am unhappy about the fact that I am okay with all the changes that have taken place in my life. If I get a second chance, I think I will do somethings in life a little differently. There have been regrets. Tears cried. On a second thought, maybe I wouldn't change it at all. Maybe things that happened, happened for a reason. I am not sure what I would put this on..Destiny?Fate?Luck? (I cannot seem to decide if it's good or bad luck till now) But if it had played a part in me being the way I am today, maybe, just maybe, I am okay with how my life played out to be. Family.Friends. Fun, happiness and joy everywhere I turn to. Sure, I miss things. There are always the 'what ifs' that will haunt me from time to time. But if I can concentrate on the good things in life, I think I would turn out okay. Better than okay.Hopefully.
Who knows where I would go from here? I don't know what's in store for me down the road. I don't even know what I am going to be doing tomorrow. (Oh wait. I need to study for that Accounts test.) Since I have no clue about the future, I might as well shut down all the negative, depressing and rather extremely confusing thoughts that have been swirling in that brain of mine for the past month. If anyone out there are sharing my thoughts, well, the only thing I can possibly say is that Focus on the Now. It is definitely worth it. Everything else will fall in place by themselves.